Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize