no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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