i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
