I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
