first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
