I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
