there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
