No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Two words: blizzard sex
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
