we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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