I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
