i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
