How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize