only if we run a train.
done.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
