4 words: hood of his car
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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