We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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