My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I love you.
Bad choice
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