guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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