I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
