I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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