There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
