why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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