went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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