one might say we're banned from that church
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize