his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
