i don't like sucking hair
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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