i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
