apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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