I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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