"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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