Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
