Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
