dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
