i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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