i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
