I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
