your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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