those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
