You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
