in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize