it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
