I cannot find my penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
