May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
