She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize