none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
