he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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