Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
