But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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