Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
