So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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