i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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