It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
