Please, let me fuck your mom
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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