Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
