I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my shit smells like andre
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
