How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize