You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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