she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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