I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
