she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
