am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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