it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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