It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
