i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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