I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
