There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
