Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
