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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
