we made out on top of his cat.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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