i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
