She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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