You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
