oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
